Don't Engage

Sorry we haven't written lately but we only want to bring you the choicest library anecdotes.

I have lost my ability to maintain a disinterested distance from my customers. I know I shouldn't comment or argue but I just can't stop myself.

Case in point...

This morning, a woman brought in two lost computer books. She had been sent to Collections and charged a lost fee and processing fee for each item. Because she returned them, we removed the lost fees and processing fees which left her with a $10 late fee on each item. The woman threw a fit and said it was ridiculous that she should have to pay $20 for the two computer books since she could go out and buy them for that much.

At this point, I should have just shut up and taken the money. But, of course, I didn't.

I just couldn't stop myself. This woman actually thought she could buy two computer books for $20. On what planet?!! So, I took it upon myself to school her a bit on the reality of the book world.

I picked up the books and showed her the purchase price....$60 for one and $40 for another. I said, "Considering how much computer books cost retail, you couldn't buy these two for $20."

"I could if I got them at Costco."

"Really. You think you could find these same EXACT two titles at Costco for less. Huh."

"$20 in fines for two books is highway robbery."

"Um, okay."

The thing is, I should just let these things go and not engage with the customers. My co-worker G. is great at that because he just doesn't care. But I still feel the need to correct people in their ignorance. I think my days at the library may be numbered.

The Return of the Phantom

You know how in most relationships you get to the point where the irritating things your partner does go from being cute to just irritating?

That's the point I think I'm getting to with the library.

We have so many customers and volunteers who are just as sweet and cute as they can be. But eventually, their little quirks start to drive you mad.

For example, this very dear old lady came to the library one time and got B., our librarian, to help her with the internet. He sat with her for an hour looking things up for her. She was so grateful and we all felt very happy that we could help her. Unfortunately, we set a dangerous precedent. Now, she feels entitled to this kind of service. She wants to sit behind the reference desk and have B. do all of her internet searching for her every time she comes in. Even if there is a line of people waiting for his help at the desk. Now, she certainly needs help and we are happy to do it but this causes quite a problem when you only have two and a half librarians to cover 48 hours worth of open library time in a given week.

We also have a volunteer who is very sweet and very dedicated. She has been volunteering for years and she never misses a shift. HOWEVER...she will only work with adult fiction books. She will not do returns with children's items or media items. Also, she has to have one certain cart and if we have stuff on it, we have to stop and unload it and move the items to another cart just so she can have that one particular cart. Also, she wants to have plenty of time to go through our booksale books before anyone else sees them and then go through our cash drawers to find state quarters that she is missing. I sometimes wonder how much time a volunteer actually saves us if she is so high maintenance.

I can think of many examples like these. People that we genuinely like but whose little quirks are starting to make us crazy!

Speaking of crazy, the Phantom of the Library came back in today to go through the whole irritating spiel with me again. I am so sick of talking about the Charles Dance t.v. version of Phantom with these people. You would think it was the most important thing in the world that they see this movie. If I have to deal with them much more, I may be the one to run mad through the basement of the library! I think we may eventually just take up a collection and buy them the stupid video just so we don't have to hear about it anymore! Damn you Charles Dance and your t.v. Phantom version!

(if you haven't read my tale of woe about the Phantom yet...follow the link below)
http://deweydiaries.blogspot.com/2005/02/phantom-of-library.html

Mea Culpa

So, I know it seems that we were picking on a sweet little old lady in our last entry. The only reason I included the anecdote was because this woman had a history of crazy questions and librarian abuse. Obviously, we always try to offer the best customer service possible. We have been known to drive to other branches on our lunch hours to pick up books for customers. We have loaded up bags of books and carried them out for our elderly customers. We have made long-distance calls on our own dimes to find something for a customer. I myself have gone over to an assisted living establishment to make library cards and hand out information on my own time. Because we are in a small branch, we often develop personal relationships with our customers. However, we also see examples of the very worst in people. Woman in fur coats ranting about having to pay a twenty cent fine. People complaining about not getting their DVDs fast enough. Mothers bragging about how their kids can watch TWENTY videos in one week. (they actually think this is something to be proud of) I bear no ill will towards Crazy Lady. It just amazes me sometimes with the stuff she comes up with. If it had been anyone else, we probably would have found the episode cute and endearing. I promise, gentle readers, there is no elder abuse going on here. Most of our patrons we really truly like. But they just don't make for good Dewey Diaries material. And we have to keep our readers entertained.

Someone Call the People in White Coats!

We try to only write in the Dewey Diaries when we have especially choice anecdotes. Luckily, that seems to happen almost every day. I was getting worried that we wouldn't have anything for you today but then....

There is a crazy lady who loves to call the library. Unfortunatley, we don't have an epithet for her yet. Let's just call her....Crazy Lady. Anyway, she calls with absolutely ridiculous questions and then never seems satisfied with the answers she receives. She will try and keep the librarians on the phone for hours. It often gets to the point that they have no other recourse but to hang up on her.

Well, we heard from Crazy Lady again tonight. She called and asked for the Reference Desk. This was her question...

"I'm stuck in my garage and I want you to tell me Jerry's phone number. He's the guy that repairs my garage door."

Oh, right! Jerry! Everybody knows Jerry!

The librarian was unable to get any more information out of Crazy Lady and didn't know what to do. The woman got more and more agitated as she couldn't understand why we couldn't find Jerry's number. Eventually, the librarian had to hang up on her.

How do you get stuck in your garage anyway? If she can't find Jerry, maybe we have heard the last of Crazy Lady. I kinda hope so.

The Phantom of the Library

As if I don't suffer enough little indignities each day in my job...

A woman came in today to pick up a hold. It was the DVD "Phantom of the Opera" with Lon Cheney. When she saw the DVD, she started freaking out.

"Why do you people keep doing this to us?!! We don't want the Lon Cheney version. We want the tv miniseries with Burt Lancaster. And Teri Polo. And Charles Dance."

I looked up the version that she wanted and noticed that it was currently on order for the library. And that this woman was on the wait list. I told her that we had ordered it and that she was first in line for it but that it hadn't come in yet.

"That's a lie! You are just not telling the truth! We have been waiting for this movie SINCE NOVEMBER!!! You're just lying to me."

Like I would lie about something as serious as Phantom of the Opera with Charles Dance.

So finally, I told her, "Well, you can either wait for this version to come in or, if you really need it, you try and find it at Blockbuster."

She gave me a withering look and yelled, "I'm not going to PAY for a video!"

And then she stormed off as I said, "Well, I guess it's not that important, huh?"

I hate being yelled at for irrational reasons. After this unsettling altercation, I decided there was only one thing to do. I put the LON CHENEY version BACK on hold for her. I can't wait to see her face when it comes in AGAIN. Maybe it will finally push her into madness. I picture her roaming the basement of the library with her face covered in genre stickers, haunting us all with her singing and organ playing.

Disclaimer

Gentle Readers--
We at the Dewey Diairies do not believe in censorship. However, we do have a well-developed sense of self-preservation. So, it was our sad duty to remove a few comments from our last post. Not for any digressions or moments of impropriety. Simply to protect our anonymity. Thank you for your understanding. We may not love our jobs but we still need them. Plus, the mask of anonymity allows us to be so wickedly blunt and truthful. It's fabulous.

The Moral to this Story...

All right children, gather around. I have a story to tell you.

Once upon a time, some people decided to buy a house right next door to a public library. Before long, they became very irritated with all the comings and goings and other activites that surrounded this library. Now, being good Americans, they didn't say to themselves, "Well, I guess we made a bad decision moving into this house next to a library." Instead, they went to their city councilperson and complained about the noise from the library delivery trucks. Because of these people, delivery is now always delayed by two days, inconveniencing hundreds of people.

But that's not all, little children.

One day, the library neighbors' house was broken into. Now, that is very unfortunate. But they didn't exactly live in the nicest and safest of neighborhoods. But, true to form, the neighbors immediately marched in to blame the library. They demanded that the library build them a new security fence since the intruders "probably" came from the library parking lot. Chances are, these people will get their way and your poor library workers will be out in the cold building a fence

The moral to this story, children, is that the squeaky wheel always gets the oil. So never take responsibility for anything and always blame someone else!