Death Becomes Her

Just had a patron with a 13 dollar fine.

She asked if she could get them excused because she had...

wait for it...

a DEATH CERTIFICATE.

She handed the official certificate to me with a smug little smile.

Checkmate.

I told her we could take off a dollar.

Sorry--that's library policy.

Unsolicited Reviewer Returns

It is now becoming a habit for the "Unsolicited Reviewer" to give us a review of whatever DVD he is dropping off that day.

Today he came in holding up "Broken Flowers" saying, "This goofy bastard (Bill Murray) shouldn't be allowed to act unless it's a comedy. I turned the goddamned thing off a quarter of the way in."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to such a trenchant review. He may be the angriest reviewer I have ever seen.

The String Lady Provides Childcare

Little did we know that the String Lady has been providing gratis childcare back in our Children's section.

A 12 year old girl approached the Reference desk crying. It seems the girl ran home and got her mom because some "weird lady" back in the Children's freaked her out. The girl was told by the lady that she used to hold her as a baby and repeatedly asked her, "Don't you remember me?" Who did the Mom point out as the culprit? The String Lady.

Every time you think she's gone she pops up again like bad penny. Or a recurrent zit. Or a bill collector. Insert witticism here.