Sometimes, customers really amaze me. And not in a good way.
A few years ago, a man came up to me in the Children's section and asked me to recommend a good classic children's book for a young boy just learning to read. I enthusiastically suggested the "Frog and Toad" series. For those of you not familiar with this series, it is about two buddies named Frog and Toad who have adventures together. They are written by Arnold Lobel. I remembered reading them as a child and thought a young boy would enjoy them.
The father took one look at them and shoved them back at me saying, "Uh uh. Pick something else." He seemed so opposed to Frog and Toad that I said, "May I ask why?"
His response: "Because....Frog and Toad are gay."
WHAT?!! Let me get this straight. (no pun intended) This crazy guy is OUTING FROG AND TOAD?!
I shudder to think about his stance on Bert and Ernie.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
Library Patrons Say the Darndest Things
These anecdotes come to us from another library branch in our system...
1. A Little Old Lady (is it more PC to say an elderly patron?) approached the desk - she apologized profusely for not having rewound the movies before returning them, but she just couldn't figure out how to do it......they were DVDs.
2.
There's a customer who comes in, pretty much every week, and checks out 7 DVDs and 20 VHS....y'know, movies to get through the week. Not sure he's ever checked out a book. He came in the other day and up to the counter with his weekly movie collection for checkout. Right next to him at the counter came a woman, known to be a book reader, but she's got a stack of movies on this day. She steps up and says "Oh, this is so embarrassing, all I'm checking out is movies, not even one book - how embarassing, I can't believe someone would come to the library and get only movies!". "Movie Guy", right next to her, just gathered up his items, gave her a brief sidelong look, and departed!
3. Then there's the guy who came dashing in at 5:00pm - apologizing for coming in so close to closing time. I told him we close at 5:30, so no problem. He then jovially declared "OK, so I'm pretty much just an idiot....here are my books on Time Management, which I clearly didn't read, since they are a few weeks late now. Sorry, I'm an idiot, and what do I owe you?"
1. A Little Old Lady (is it more PC to say an elderly patron?) approached the desk - she apologized profusely for not having rewound the movies before returning them, but she just couldn't figure out how to do it......they were DVDs.
2.
There's a customer who comes in, pretty much every week, and checks out 7 DVDs and 20 VHS....y'know, movies to get through the week. Not sure he's ever checked out a book. He came in the other day and up to the counter with his weekly movie collection for checkout. Right next to him at the counter came a woman, known to be a book reader, but she's got a stack of movies on this day. She steps up and says "Oh, this is so embarrassing, all I'm checking out is movies, not even one book - how embarassing, I can't believe someone would come to the library and get only movies!". "Movie Guy", right next to her, just gathered up his items, gave her a brief sidelong look, and departed!
3. Then there's the guy who came dashing in at 5:00pm - apologizing for coming in so close to closing time. I told him we close at 5:30, so no problem. He then jovially declared "OK, so I'm pretty much just an idiot....here are my books on Time Management, which I clearly didn't read, since they are a few weeks late now. Sorry, I'm an idiot, and what do I owe you?"
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
The Candy Man
Some of our customers are very pleasant and sweet. Even when they are a little eccentric.
One such customer was someone we will call The Candy Man.
The Candy Man would walk to the library every day from wherever he lived. There was almost a script to what he would say.
He would walk in and invariably say, "It's a beautiful day outside."
Then he would comment on our clothing. He loved bright colors and he would point to some bright piece of clothing and say, "Nice colors!"
One day, I was wearing some plain black or otherwise nondescript color scheme and he pointed to me and said, "Drab!"
It kind of hurt my feelings but it was also a little funny.
After making his daily comments, he would distribute a piece of hard candy to each of us working that day. He would go through this routine every day.
Some days, you were just tired and didn't feel like going through this little routine. But he was always pleasant and always gave us candy. And you knew that his trip to the library was probably the highlight of each day.
The Candy Man died about a year ago. And I miss his antics. His routine had become part of the routine of my day too. And I always enjoyed his hard candy.
One such customer was someone we will call The Candy Man.
The Candy Man would walk to the library every day from wherever he lived. There was almost a script to what he would say.
He would walk in and invariably say, "It's a beautiful day outside."
Then he would comment on our clothing. He loved bright colors and he would point to some bright piece of clothing and say, "Nice colors!"
One day, I was wearing some plain black or otherwise nondescript color scheme and he pointed to me and said, "Drab!"
It kind of hurt my feelings but it was also a little funny.
After making his daily comments, he would distribute a piece of hard candy to each of us working that day. He would go through this routine every day.
Some days, you were just tired and didn't feel like going through this little routine. But he was always pleasant and always gave us candy. And you knew that his trip to the library was probably the highlight of each day.
The Candy Man died about a year ago. And I miss his antics. His routine had become part of the routine of my day too. And I always enjoyed his hard candy.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Library Worker Pet Peeves
First of all, please note that under each post there is a comment engine. Feel free to make comments. We want to know you're reading us...
So, on to our favorite pet peeves...
1. I personally hate giving out plastic bags. I don't mind giving them to elderly people or handing them out in bad weather, but the rest of the time I hate it. It just really makes me crazy because handing out loads of plastic bags reminds me of how greedy people at the library can be.
2. Which bring me to pet peeve #2: People who check out LOADS of DVDs and videos. Seriously, how many movies can you watch in a week? I always have visions of these people doing nothing but sitting on their fat bottoms all the time watching t.v. To me, it speaks to the worst part of American culture. And by checking out so many videos and DVDs at one time, people always whine about getting bags. Maybe you shouldn't check out so much. Then you wouldn't need a bag!
3. Why is it that when there are four circulation computers and three staff members at the desk, customers ALWAYS go and stand at the one computer NOT occupied by a staff member? That drives me crazy! Why wouldn't you wait at a computer that actually has a staff member at it?! Do they simply believe that a magical clerk will appear at the empty computer? It makes no sense!
4. Don't use the excuse "Well, my taxes pay for this library!" Chances are you pay no more than $25/month to use the library. Probably a lot less. That gets you about two paperbacks from Barnes and Noble or 8 video/DVD rentals from Blockbuster. Most people get way more than that for free at the library. And then they whine about a 20 cent fine. Quit whining! Your tax money doesn't begin to cover the benefits you get from the library!
5. Don't constantly call to see what you have on hold. You ordered it. Don't you know what you have on hold? Also, you can do all that stuff online. You don't need to call us for that.
6. Yes, I have to have your library card or a photo ID. I can't just look you up by name. I don't know you. And, after all, you can't just go to the grocery store without your wallet and say, "You know who I am. Just put it on my account."
7. It's pronounced "library" not "liberry."
So, on to our favorite pet peeves...
1. I personally hate giving out plastic bags. I don't mind giving them to elderly people or handing them out in bad weather, but the rest of the time I hate it. It just really makes me crazy because handing out loads of plastic bags reminds me of how greedy people at the library can be.
2. Which bring me to pet peeve #2: People who check out LOADS of DVDs and videos. Seriously, how many movies can you watch in a week? I always have visions of these people doing nothing but sitting on their fat bottoms all the time watching t.v. To me, it speaks to the worst part of American culture. And by checking out so many videos and DVDs at one time, people always whine about getting bags. Maybe you shouldn't check out so much. Then you wouldn't need a bag!
3. Why is it that when there are four circulation computers and three staff members at the desk, customers ALWAYS go and stand at the one computer NOT occupied by a staff member? That drives me crazy! Why wouldn't you wait at a computer that actually has a staff member at it?! Do they simply believe that a magical clerk will appear at the empty computer? It makes no sense!
4. Don't use the excuse "Well, my taxes pay for this library!" Chances are you pay no more than $25/month to use the library. Probably a lot less. That gets you about two paperbacks from Barnes and Noble or 8 video/DVD rentals from Blockbuster. Most people get way more than that for free at the library. And then they whine about a 20 cent fine. Quit whining! Your tax money doesn't begin to cover the benefits you get from the library!
5. Don't constantly call to see what you have on hold. You ordered it. Don't you know what you have on hold? Also, you can do all that stuff online. You don't need to call us for that.
6. Yes, I have to have your library card or a photo ID. I can't just look you up by name. I don't know you. And, after all, you can't just go to the grocery store without your wallet and say, "You know who I am. Just put it on my account."
7. It's pronounced "library" not "liberry."
The Muzak Lady
We all know that libraries are supposed to be quiet places, right? Well, they aren't anymore. But we certainly don't have music on an intercom system like some stores. Well, one day, this older lady came in and asked me what the name of the music was that was playing. I paused for a moment trying to think of how to answer that. Finally, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't hear anything. We don't play music in the library. Perhaps you are hearing someone's personal radio or something." She thanked me and walked off. A little while later she came back to the Circulation Desk and asked my co-worker the same question. He tried to argue with her that there was no music playing but she was quite insistent. She even hummed a little of it for him. Finally, my co-worker gave up, hummed along with her and said, "Yeah, I think it's Neil Diamond." She seemed happy with that answer and went merrily on her way. I guess sometimes you just need to play along and tell people what they need to hear. Even if they are completely nuts.
Show Your Librarian Appreciation
This anecdote was passed on to me by a librarian at another branch.
Part of a librarian's job description should be "mindreader." It can be difficult to ascertain what a customer is asking for sometimes. One day, a customer came in with the question, "Do you have the movie where these people find a Coke bottle?" Now, some of you may be able to guess what movie this customer was talking about. But, contrary to popular belief, librarians do not know every book ever written and every movie ever made. Because of her excellent knowledge of information technology, this librarian was finally able to find the movie. "The Gods Must Be Crazy." It never ceases to amaze me how a librarian can go from some miniscule piece of information to finding the exact item that a customer wants.
Part of a librarian's job description should be "mindreader." It can be difficult to ascertain what a customer is asking for sometimes. One day, a customer came in with the question, "Do you have the movie where these people find a Coke bottle?" Now, some of you may be able to guess what movie this customer was talking about. But, contrary to popular belief, librarians do not know every book ever written and every movie ever made. Because of her excellent knowledge of information technology, this librarian was finally able to find the movie. "The Gods Must Be Crazy." It never ceases to amaze me how a librarian can go from some miniscule piece of information to finding the exact item that a customer wants.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Ask a Stupid Question...
Several of us came to the library from the retail book world. So, I'm going to include stories from the retail world of books as well. Just because they are so good.
Working in a library, you often get asked some really stupid questions. Here are some of our favorites (including some asked at Barnes and Noble):
"Where is your non-fiction section?" (all you can do as a library worker is indicate 3/4 of the library with the sweep of your arm)
"Who wrote Dante's Inferno?" (this one comes from B&N)
"Where are your books by anonymous? I just loved his Primary Colors!"
"You mean I actually have to PAY library fines?!"
"I've been looking in the Home Improvement section but I can't seem to find where you keep your books by Tim "the Toolman" Taylor."
Here's a recent story with a great question. I thought I had heard them all. A woman came up to me and asked if I had any staples. I told her she could borrow our stapler and use it at the Circulation Desk. She said, "No, I don't want your stapler. I want staples to refill MY stapler." And she held up a stapler. Do we look like Office Depot?!!
At Barnes and Noble, a woman we will call "Psycho Soccer Mom" came in to the store and I got to help her. She looked like your average wealthy suburban housewife. Pretty dress. Nice hair and makeup. She told me she was looking for a star guide. I took her over to our small Astronomy section and showed her a few glow-in-the-dark maps of the night sky. She told me that that was what she wanted but that these weren't detailed enough. I looked at her blankly until she said,"Well, I'm going to Venus soon and I need a map to know how to get there." Well, there was only one way to answer that. "Lady, I can tell you right now this star map ain't gonna get you to Venus." Trying to be helpful and to quickly usher her out of the store, I suggested she try a science supply store. She thanked me for my help and headed out the door in her quest for a better map to Venus. Good luck, Crazy Lady!
Working in a library, you often get asked some really stupid questions. Here are some of our favorites (including some asked at Barnes and Noble):
"Where is your non-fiction section?" (all you can do as a library worker is indicate 3/4 of the library with the sweep of your arm)
"Who wrote Dante's Inferno?" (this one comes from B&N)
"Where are your books by anonymous? I just loved his Primary Colors!"
"You mean I actually have to PAY library fines?!"
"I've been looking in the Home Improvement section but I can't seem to find where you keep your books by Tim "the Toolman" Taylor."
Here's a recent story with a great question. I thought I had heard them all. A woman came up to me and asked if I had any staples. I told her she could borrow our stapler and use it at the Circulation Desk. She said, "No, I don't want your stapler. I want staples to refill MY stapler." And she held up a stapler. Do we look like Office Depot?!!
At Barnes and Noble, a woman we will call "Psycho Soccer Mom" came in to the store and I got to help her. She looked like your average wealthy suburban housewife. Pretty dress. Nice hair and makeup. She told me she was looking for a star guide. I took her over to our small Astronomy section and showed her a few glow-in-the-dark maps of the night sky. She told me that that was what she wanted but that these weren't detailed enough. I looked at her blankly until she said,"Well, I'm going to Venus soon and I need a map to know how to get there." Well, there was only one way to answer that. "Lady, I can tell you right now this star map ain't gonna get you to Venus." Trying to be helpful and to quickly usher her out of the store, I suggested she try a science supply store. She thanked me for my help and headed out the door in her quest for a better map to Venus. Good luck, Crazy Lady!
Friday, November 19, 2004
Mr. Spock
It's so hard to know where to begin. There are so many good stories and so many "interesting" patrons to talk about.
Here's an early one for you:
At one branch that I worked at, I had to deal with an eccentric Sci-Fi buff. Let's call him...Mr. Spock. He was short with a pronounced tummy and balding with his black hair pulled back into a short ponytail. And he wore wire-rim glasses. Mr. Spock would typically put many many Sci-Fi videos and DVDs on hold at the library. Especially things like Star Trek. (Now before you start thinking I'm prejudiced against Sci-Fi buffs, don't. I'm a Sci-Fi buff too) He also had ridiculous expectations of the staff. He asked that we personally call him when he had holds that came in. He didn't trust the automated system. If we did this for every customer, that would be all we could do in a day.
Well, one day, Mr. Spock came in and started ranting about the fact that we had SO many books about the Holocaust but nothing from any other perspective. He insisted there were other points of view about WWII that should be represented. Then, he said, "You probably have all these Holocaust books because of all the Jews in the area."
Right.
I think it's time for Scotty to beam you up, Mr. Spock and leave the rest of us rational people to our work.
Here's an early one for you:
At one branch that I worked at, I had to deal with an eccentric Sci-Fi buff. Let's call him...Mr. Spock. He was short with a pronounced tummy and balding with his black hair pulled back into a short ponytail. And he wore wire-rim glasses. Mr. Spock would typically put many many Sci-Fi videos and DVDs on hold at the library. Especially things like Star Trek. (Now before you start thinking I'm prejudiced against Sci-Fi buffs, don't. I'm a Sci-Fi buff too) He also had ridiculous expectations of the staff. He asked that we personally call him when he had holds that came in. He didn't trust the automated system. If we did this for every customer, that would be all we could do in a day.
Well, one day, Mr. Spock came in and started ranting about the fact that we had SO many books about the Holocaust but nothing from any other perspective. He insisted there were other points of view about WWII that should be represented. Then, he said, "You probably have all these Holocaust books because of all the Jews in the area."
Right.
I think it's time for Scotty to beam you up, Mr. Spock and leave the rest of us rational people to our work.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
In the beginning there was the Dewey Decimal System...
We are the tired and the downtrodden, the disillusioned and the irritated.
We are your library workers and these are the days of our lives...
These are the chronicles of the craziness that we deal with on a day to day basis. The stories are true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. (actually, just to prevent a lawsuit) These stories come from an unnamed library system somewhere deep in the heart of the West. May our pain become your pleasure...
We are your library workers and these are the days of our lives...
These are the chronicles of the craziness that we deal with on a day to day basis. The stories are true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. (actually, just to prevent a lawsuit) These stories come from an unnamed library system somewhere deep in the heart of the West. May our pain become your pleasure...
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