Return of the Old Death's Head

He's baaaaaaack!

The Old Death's Head showed up today in a ratty lumberjack coat looking more like a death's head than ever. He has finally wised up about interacting with staff and decided to use the self-check machine instead. Of course, he couldn't figure out how to use it.

As I observed his struggles, I tried to decide what to do. I knew if I approached him and offered to help that he would probably accuse me of being a condescending racist. (since he is a lily-white man who happens to have a Hispanic-sounding last name) Finally, he asked me for help and I assisted him with great tenderness and patience (and trepidation). He was all sweetness and light. And then we sang a duet. And little bluebirds fluttered around our heads.

I guess he doesn't remember that I'm the one who got him banned from the library. Ah, the power!

One Stop Shopping

A guy just came to the circulation desk and asked if there was an "adult" section at the library. It's spring break and there's a lot of urchins running around here today, and I thought he meant a quiet place to get away from these damn kids.

But, no...

He leaned forward and said, "No, for... naughty stuff?" Oh. Oh!

No, no, we don't have a "naughty" section of the videos. Not yet, at least. I'm sure it's coming, though.

In the meantime, just another disappointed library patron...

I'm Little on the Inside

One of the things I love about working in a public library is the fact that you get to interact with all kinds of people. And they are not always what they seem. There is one gentleman who is very tall and big and he wears black leather pants and he has swastikas tattooed on the back of his head. Rather scary. A real tough guy.

But...

...he checks out the lamest videos like Knight Rider and Full House. FULL HOUSE?!! Are you kidding me? Maybe he's one of those big guys who are little on the inside.


Yesterday he stopped a library employee in the parking lot and asked him why that school bus was parked there. The library worker looked. Big surprise. There was no school bus.

Uh, I'm backing away slowly...

The Unsolicited Reviewer is a Misogynist (big surprise)

Also known as Mr. "I'm going to punch John Travolta in the face," the Unsolicited Reviewer is getting a lot of press lately. He wants to ban "Ladies Nights" at bars, baseball games and other venues. He was on a talk show and the host finally told him he needs therapy for his obsessive compulsiveness and his paranoia. The Unsolicited Reviewer compares himself to Rosa Parks fightin' for men's rights. He's our own local jackass!