5 Cent Lady

So, this woman comes in and turns in a book SO LATE that her fines come to $8.00. Immediately, she starts blaming the library for HER lateness. But she adds a new twist...

Lady: Well, I'm not paying that much. The library has only ever charge me 5 cents a day before. I was just here last month and only paid a 5 cent per day fine.

Clerk: Well, that surprises me because our fines have never been five cents a day. In fact, they are currently 25 cents per day per item.

Lady: Well, I've only ever paid five cents a day and I'm not paying more than that.

At this point, she pulls our her receipt from the month before which shows that she paid a 75 cent fine for being three days late. I point out to her that that equals 25 cents a day.

Lady: Well, I think it was much later than that. And I'm only going to ever pay five cents a day or I'm not going to use the library again.

This is one of my favorite arguments from patrons. They think they can treat us like a retail establishment. Threatening me with losing your business really isn't going to get you anywhere. Let's see....we make zero dollars off you a year and you are threatening to take away your business which would be a loss of zero dollars...hmmmm....

Clerk: So you are saying that although everyone else pays 25 cents a day for being late that you should only be charged 5 cents a day.

Lady: That's right.

Clerk: Well, when you sign up for a library card you agree to the terms. And as long as you turn items in on time, the service is absolutely free. This book was 32 days late. The fine will be $8.00.

Lady: Well, I'm never using the library again.

Clerk: Okay then. Enjoy Barnes and Noble and Blockbuster! (just kidding...I didn't really say that)

Library...Post Office...Same Thing

Our mail carrier just came in and handed me two library items that someone had dropped in the mailbox at the post office.

Now, I know we are both public institutions, people, but you can't mail items at the library and you can't return library items to the post office.

Just wanted to make that clear.

I Don't Get It

So, the Queen of the Non-Sequitors just came in and headed over to the reference desk where our intern was working. Our intern is a young brunette who is currently working on her MLS. So, the Queen asks her to put a few items on hold and while the intern is doing this, the Queen says,

"So, you're really not a blonde. You're more of a chestnut."

Um, thanks for the info.

What was the point of that statement? Anyone?

Your Local Head Shop

Okay, this is a first. I just returned a copy of the LOVE WIFE by Gish Jen and a bag of marijuana blunts fell out of it.

Gee, thanks dude.