The Marquis de Sade's Acolyte

Before I begin today's anecdote, I would like to address a certain topic. Blue2go wrote in asking about the library's homeless policy. Our library, like many others, has a policy of letting the homeless into the building on wretchedly cold days. This is a policy that I really like. (unlike most of the library's policies)

We have one homeless person who comes to our branch. I may have mentioned him before. We call him Smokey Lonesome. (after a character from "Fried Green Tomatoes") He comes in and looks at magazines all day and then leaves. One of my co-workers offered him a coat one time but he refused to take it. I worry about him during the coldest parts of the year and I hope he finds a warm place at night.

Now, on to today's story.

This crazy-eyed man came into the library recently to return some books and pick up some holds. All of his holds were books written by the Marquis de Sade. He grinned at me and asked me if I had ever heard of "this de SAY-d guy." [sic] I told him that I had read some of his stuff back in college and didn't care for it. Crazy-Eyes proceeded to expound upon the Marquis' virtues and how he had profound things to say about women.

Riiiigggghhttt.

Anyways, he said he was trying to read everything about the Marquis that he could get his hands on and that every night before he goes to bed, he reads a little bit of it. I'm sure that makes for sweet dreams. As I listened to this man spout absolute inaccuracies about the Marquis de Sade and his writings, I couldn't resist throwing in a little recommedation of my own. I guess I'll never learn.

I said, "Well, have you seen the movie "Quills?"

Crazy-Eyes responded, "Kills?"

"No, Quills! You know, like...a feather pen?"

I put the movie into his hand and felt I had accomplished some good in the world.

So far, the man has checked it out three times.

I hope that we don't read in the paper soon about a local crazy-eyed man who was conducting a sado-masochistic Romper Room in his basement based on books and movies he picked up at the library. Time will tell.