Nicknames

You may have noticed that we like bestowing epithets on our customers and co-workers. I thought that today I'd share some other epithets with you and the reasons behind them. Again, some are from our Barnes and Noble days....

"Cakelicker"--This guy got an erotic cake for his birthday in the shape of a pair of breasts. He loved being photographed licking the cake. Weird.

"Stuntc**k"--This guy couldn't stop talking about how hilarious the movie "Orgazmo" was and really liked one particular scene so this name sort of stuck.

"Little Debbie Snackcakes"-- She was short, cute and round and her name was Debbie. 'Nuff said.

"Caligula"--This woman dressed for work like a cocktail waitress with thigh-high boots and mini-skirts. And she would go to the shelf for customers' holds and bend over without bending her knees thus giving everyone a show.

"Yvanehtnioj"--This nickname comes from the "Simpsons" episode where people were being brainwashed into joining the Navy. We had a very unpleasant co-worker who was dating a military person and she was dyslexic. So this name seemed to fit. (hint: read the nickname backwards)

"Oreo Cake"--A co-worker who just adored cakes make out of Oreos. Who knows the inner workings of the human heart?

"Johnny Shellshocked"--This customer is a veteran and he is a little too intense. He kind of scare us a little bit. But he served his country and I appreciate that.

"Smokey Lonesome"--This is a poor homeless man who comes and sits in the library all day during the winter. He looks so sad. We've tried to give him coats and blankets but he always refuses.

"Neo"--This guy walks around town EVERY day dressed all in black with his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He wears a long black duster and sunglasses. I think he believes he's in the "Matrix." It's just a movie, friend.

"Cyber-Bitch"--This is one of the most unpleasant people I have ever met. She only comes into the library to use computers and if the least little thing goes wrong, she throws a fit. It always amazes me how her level of anger doesn't match the incident. The most minor thing can throw her into a tremendous rage. It's quite a sight to behold.

These names are not meant to be cruel. It's just a way to talk about people in code. You know.