Ask a Stupid Question...

Several of us came to the library from the retail book world. So, I'm going to include stories from the retail world of books as well. Just because they are so good.

Working in a library, you often get asked some really stupid questions. Here are some of our favorites (including some asked at Barnes and Noble):

"Where is your non-fiction section?" (all you can do as a library worker is indicate 3/4 of the library with the sweep of your arm)

"Who wrote Dante's Inferno?" (this one comes from B&N)

"Where are your books by anonymous? I just loved his Primary Colors!"

"You mean I actually have to PAY library fines?!"

"I've been looking in the Home Improvement section but I can't seem to find where you keep your books by Tim "the Toolman" Taylor."


Here's a recent story with a great question. I thought I had heard them all. A woman came up to me and asked if I had any staples. I told her she could borrow our stapler and use it at the Circulation Desk. She said, "No, I don't want your stapler. I want staples to refill MY stapler." And she held up a stapler. Do we look like Office Depot?!!

At Barnes and Noble, a woman we will call "Psycho Soccer Mom" came in to the store and I got to help her. She looked like your average wealthy suburban housewife. Pretty dress. Nice hair and makeup. She told me she was looking for a star guide. I took her over to our small Astronomy section and showed her a few glow-in-the-dark maps of the night sky. She told me that that was what she wanted but that these weren't detailed enough. I looked at her blankly until she said,"Well, I'm going to Venus soon and I need a map to know how to get there." Well, there was only one way to answer that. "Lady, I can tell you right now this star map ain't gonna get you to Venus." Trying to be helpful and to quickly usher her out of the store, I suggested she try a science supply store. She thanked me for my help and headed out the door in her quest for a better map to Venus. Good luck, Crazy Lady!