Conspiracy Theorist

Patron:  Have you looked outside today?

Me:  Uh no. They don't let me out of the building.

Patron:  You should really go look at the sky. Operation Cloverleaf is going on right now. They want you to think they are just contrails from airplanes but they aren't. They are really chemicals that the government is deliberately putting into the atmosphere.  It's really scary.

Me:  Huh.  How about that.

Patron: If I were you, I wouldn't go outside today.

Me:  Duly noted.





SIGH.......................................

Why Stop There?

A patron just came in all fired up to the 4th Floor Desk and demandedto speak to the big boss.  When I asked a few probing questions to get to the root of his dissatisfaction (trying to prevent the Big Boss from having to deal with this), I learned that he was all in a tizzy because he believes the entire fourth floor of the library should be moved to the first floor. 

*crickets*

Yeah, that's gonna happen.

I decided maybe the Big Boss SHOULD handle this after all. So, I sent him on his merry way to the appropriate office.